Right now I am in the middle of a long and drawn out depressive episode. It hasn't been easy, to say the VERY fucking least, because it's been coupled with a massive spike in my chronic panic over the summer. Both of those things combined has lead to some unhealthy habits the past few months.

I also have a REALLY bad problem with binge eating. When I am feeling low I can put away an insane amount of calories in a day. It will feel like my body goes numb and I can't even tell if I am hungry or full anymore. I just want the happiness the food brings.

This is a serious problem. This has lead to COMFORT EATING like WAY TOO MUCH. I have been trying to address this, like on the week days I try really hard to cook every night and only eat sweets that are low in calories like fruit but in my mind I am always thinking about wanting to binge eat candy. I hate it. Sometimes the thoughts and cravings can be overwhelming and the going back and forth on if I should or shouldn't can waste so much of my time and energy.

I have a method I try really hard to follow when I start to have obsessive thinking. I try to completely distract my mind by asking it questions like
"What are 5 different things you hear?" 
"What are 5 different things you feel physically?" 
"What are 5 different things you can smell?"

Sometimes it really feels like everything can be too overwhelming to deal with. I wish I really didn't have to deal with it. I would give anything to snap my fingers and have these issues disappear. But that is never going to happen and at least I am doing the best I can.