Chronic Pain

For the last few years my pain has gone from manageable to something that is a daily struggle.

It started when I was sixteen and one day at Disneyland I started having so much abdominal pain that it was difficult to walk. I went to the doctors and after some tests it was determined that I had ovarian cysts and need to take hormonal birth control to keep them at bay. Not too big of a deal. The pills made the cysts dissolve and the pain went away.

A few years later I started having insane uterine contractions that would leave me unable to move. My doctor was stumped and just threw a bottle of Vicodin at me and sent me home. The contractions continued and I just became Vicodin dependent which my doctor wouldn't refill so I was just stuck with the pain.

A short while later my doctor diagnosed me with hip bursitis. My tendons were inflamed because I am pigeon toed and my bones pull my tendons "wrong"

Then during my struggle to find medication that worked for my bipolar disorder I was put on a medication that gave me an incurable bladder disease, Interstitial Cystitis. This comes with the need to constantly urinate as well as urinary tract pain that flares up unexpectedly. I cant even have periods anymore because with this they are unbelievably painful.

Just to finish off this shit cake, I got in a very bad car accident that left my neck messed the hell up.

So... I hurt. A LOT. Like... all the time. Sitting in a desk chair 9 hours a day is not awesome. Today I am typing this all out because I am having my first period in 3 years in preparation for my IUD to get inserted on Friday. Because of my situation I can't just take today off and lay in bed in pain. I have to go into the office and sit here. Every day I'm in pain I have to. It never stops and it never will.

I would give anything to be able to work for myself to be able to be in control of my own health, to be able to take care of myself like I want to. Until then I am hunched over in this chair, staring at this screen, just trying to take my mind off the pain.