Who Am I?
Is it okay to be 26 and still have existential crises? Because I feel like I've been having them forever, and I am not sure they are going to come to a stop anytime soon. I think I should have figured this out by now. Maybe I already DO know, but I am just doing my thing where I think I suck, but everyone else thinks differently. Am I being TOO relatable right now? Ha.
I just look at myself as a whole and feel like I am a bunch of floating pieces instead of a whole person. Like, I don't have a strong identity. I am made up of a ton of different identities smooshed into one. I am a creative who works in a very code-heavy job that is obsessed with skin care and makeup but rarely wears makeup, and I have a big, loving heart but openly despises the world... what is this mess? WHO AM I?
I am contradictory.
I am in love with milkshakes and binge eating candy, but obsessed with counting calories.
I am spontaneous and wild, but I plan like an INSANE woman.
I wish I could be moving and productive 24/7, and FREAK if I am not, but want to lie on the couch for hours (and sometimes do).
I want to dress cute and sometimes try, but wear my mom's old sweater from the 90's more days than I like to admit.
Maybe this is normal. Maybe you are thinking, "Get your shit together, you dumb lady."
I don't think it's strange to not know and to be constantly challenging yourself to figure it out. Stagnant people are boring. I would rather be still freaking out and trying to become something better at 80 than sit in my dusty ol' chair thinking about dying. That's boring, and I am bored just thinking about it. Put on my gravestone, "WHO AM I?"
I am happy, though right now. I like my job. I like my life. I like my dogs. (You heard right, I got another dog) I like things. Weird.
I just look at myself as a whole and feel like I am a bunch of floating pieces instead of a whole person. Like, I don't have a strong identity. I am made up of a ton of different identities smooshed into one. I am a creative who works in a very code-heavy job that is obsessed with skin care and makeup but rarely wears makeup, and I have a big, loving heart but openly despises the world... what is this mess? WHO AM I?
I am contradictory.
I am in love with milkshakes and binge eating candy, but obsessed with counting calories.
I am spontaneous and wild, but I plan like an INSANE woman.
I wish I could be moving and productive 24/7, and FREAK if I am not, but want to lie on the couch for hours (and sometimes do).
I want to dress cute and sometimes try, but wear my mom's old sweater from the 90's more days than I like to admit.
Maybe this is normal. Maybe you are thinking, "Get your shit together, you dumb lady."
I don't think it's strange to not know and to be constantly challenging yourself to figure it out. Stagnant people are boring. I would rather be still freaking out and trying to become something better at 80 than sit in my dusty ol' chair thinking about dying. That's boring, and I am bored just thinking about it. Put on my gravestone, "WHO AM I?"
I am happy, though right now. I like my job. I like my life. I like my dogs. (You heard right, I got another dog) I like things. Weird.